The Wild World of Religion

Disclaimer: It is not my intention to show disrespect by not capitalizing certain nouns at all times. I will be showing plenty of disrespect in other ways.

Eddie Izzard said it best in the DVD of his show "Circle":
"Dad, the Mormons are from Mars, we've had that checked."

This, of course, was Jesus talking to God, and wondering why everyone had split up into different groups.

Now, keep in mind that I was born and raised in the LDS (Mormon) religion, so I do have some experience with the subject. And about thirteen years ago, I left it all behind for good.

The first inkling I got that the LDS church was not for me was right around the age of eight. I was not the most - ahem - attractive child, and I endured teasing from many kids at school. What I hadn't expected was that the teasing would also happen within the very walls of "God's house". Even as a child, I wondered how that could be. I grew up with some of the most self-serving, stuck-up, holier-than-thou people that I've ever encountered, all of whom were considered to be righteous and holy. Whatever. People who were actually righteous and holy wouldn't turn a blind eye to the teasing a child received in Sunday School.

I am a live-and-let-live kind of person. I wish organized religion would adapt that way of thinking. Here's my biggest problem with religion, and with Christianity specifically: it is one of the most nefarious tools that has ever existed, created to keep people in line, and to keep their controllers in power. To quote Eddie again,"Blasphemy, blaspheyou, blasphe-everybody-in-the-room..." Let fly the nasty comments!

In the most recent U.S. presidential election, a rumor began that Barack Obama was a secret Muslim. Now, if there really was a separation of church and state, as the Constitution provides, no one would have given a flying fuck. But oh my gods, what a controversy that became! Every news network talked about it ad infinitum, and Obama's opponents even began using the rumor. A completely unsubstantiated rumor, I might add. But these hateful people felt they had to protect the office of the presidency from what they deemed an immoral person. (None of these people obviously had any idea what Islam is really about.)

Every president of this country has been a Christian. Every. One. And up until now, they'd also all been white males. Yeah, a bunch of freedom and equality we have here, don't we?

So let's consider for a moment that Obama actually had been a Muslim. How would this have affected how he managed the Presidency? Well, if he was truly upholding the Constitution, it wouldn't have affected anything. Then why is religion such a big deal with politicians? Beats the hell out of me. My only guess is that it has to do with feeling superior over other people who "don't have the truth". Pfft.

Here is the truth: religion has no place in government or in schools. It is separation of church and state, plain and simple. So get the fuck over it already and quit trying to force your god into my life.

And then there's the Bible.

Think for a moment about the Greek Myths. Today we regard them as fictional stories, but many moons ago they were regarded as truth by the people of the times. It would be ridiculous to think that Zeus is still sitting on Mount Olympus, right? Yet the Bible, a work of fanciful tales that sound every bit as unlikely as the Greek Myths, is taken seriously. Why?

The Bible is widely regarded as the literal Word of God. If that were so, then it wouldn't have been written, compiled, and edited by men. Men in power. Men who got together in a huge tribunal and decided what was going in the Book and what wasn't. And the Word of God wouldn't contradict itself so often, either. (Surely God would have known about the existence of dinosaurs??) And yet this book, and religion in general, controls so much in so many lives.

Do I believe in an all-powerful god who designed us all and has a master plan? Nope, I sure don't. I like Eddie Izzard's theory of the god Chaos, who was just trying to make a flan and the pilot light ignited the Big Bang. If a person believes that their god is doing everything according to a plan, then that god is not only responsible for the good things, but the bad things as well. The faithful never think of that, do they? (In fact, I think one of the best arguments against "intelligent design" is the earwig. *shudder* No decent being in his or her right mind would create that.)

I understand the desire of human beings to want to explain everything, to think they have some sort of control over their universe. Hence, religion. But it seems rather conceited to me to think that a human can know God's mind. People all the time are telling me what God wants of us. Oh, really? And he told you this face to face, did he? Uh-huh. That's what I thought. The god that most people rely on, if those people really thought about it, would scoff at anyone thinking they knew his thoughts. Anyone claiming he or she is doing "God's will" is misguided at best, psychotically delusional at worst. Especially if "God's will" involves hurting other people. (See The Crusades, the Holocaust, the Mormon Massacre, the ongoing Israel/Palestine conflict, 9/11, etc.)

I could probably stomach organized religion better if it also wasn't so heavy-handed about sin. Apparently anything fun or that feels good is a sin. In the Mormon religion, the most sin-free people get married in an LDS temple, a place that only "worthy" people can go. So no having sex before marriage! I can't begin to imagine how many LDS women have unsatisfactory sex lives because they didn't test drive the car before buying. Sexual compatibility is of major importance in a marriage! I feel rather sorry for those women, because we know the men certainly aren't suffering. (You men have it so easy when it comes to orgasms.)

Personally, I don't see the big deal about sex before marriage. Nor do I see the big deal with living together before getting married, or not getting married at all. The LDS religion is very stringent about these things. Needless to say, I'll never be going to any of their temples. Why would I want to, though? Why would I have married in a place where not all those I love are welcome?

Sometimes faith can be utterly disastrous. When my father was diagnosed with cancer in October of 2004, he had many "priesthood blessings" given to him by members of their bishopric. Their bishop said in these blessings that my father would recover and have many more years upon this earth. He passed away in April of 2005. My mother was completely unprepared and utterly devastated. I, however, knew he wasn't going to survive much longer, and was not surprised at his passing. So many people came up to us at the funeral and said how shocking it was that he'd gone so quickly. Not really. Anyone with half a brain and eyes unclouded by false statements by religious leaders would have seen my father was dying, and quickly. Shit happens, and the explanation is that there is no explanation. Shit happens.

I feel I've only barely scratched the surface of this subject, because my problems with religion are so vast. I only touched on its role in U.S. politics, and said role is so much more vast than the attention I gave it. I probably have enough material that I could write a short book on the subject of religion in politics alone. But, seeing as how I don't have the patience to be angry for the amount of time it would take to write that book, I will simply leave it here in my rambles. Religion should be about peace, love, and working together. Instead it's a contest of "My god is better than your god".

I want no part of it, thank you very much.