I don't actually have a specific topic today; I'm just going to ramble on and on about whatever comes to mind.
You all know that Dave and I are starting our own podcast. It became apparent while we were trying to record some feedback for the Box Room podcast that we have too many things to talk about, and not enough of an outlet. Dave has heard it all many times before, so now we're going to unleash on you lot. :) The podcast will be called The InsideOutcast. Dave came up with the name, and I think it's genius. We will definitely be touching on the cultural differences of living in Utah. We'll also ramble on about stuff and things, most of which will be our nerddom. (Just wait until I get on the topic of binoculars in movies and television.) Dave will also pick something to wax philosophical about, as he does have a minor degree in philosophy, and I will likely do a weekly short audio Brandiramble about something. Plus, we've just decided on another feature - Goth, or Not Goth? I think that one is self-explanatory.
It's been an interesting journey, getting this podcast together. Found an opening theme song last night that Dave and I think is perfect for us. I'm not saying what it is - you'll have to listen to the podcast to find out. I'm also learning all the things necessary to get a podcast up and running. Luckily I've had expert advice from those of you who already have podcasts, and thanks to Ross for telling me about Feedburner. Hadn't faced that item on the to-do list yet.
With all that on my mind, I have found it difficult to sleep the past couple of nights. That could also be due to the full moon. Last night, I dreamed about podcasting ALL NIGHT LONG! It was like my brain was on a loop, and even in sleep, I was thinking, "Wait, haven't I done this bit before?" Even the cat wouldn't stay with me; he got tired of my restless legs and sought slumber elsewhere. Finicky.
Or maybe it's the awfulness of work that has messed up my sleep. I'm not even going to talk about the mess that was last Friday. All I know is that I am TIRED and I can't seem to focus on any one thing. Hence, this ramble.
People say you shouldn't wish your life away, but right now, I have no trouble doing that where work is concerned. Every weekday from eight AM to five PM is spent just muddling through until the weekend. Sad, but true. There are those who say, "Follow your bliss!" And to them, I say, "Fuck you!" Because we can't all follow our bliss, can we? We can't all take our biggest interest and turn it into a career, because that's not the world we live in. I get frustrated with the whole "you can do anything you set your mind to" attitude, because it just doesn't work in reality. Unfortunately, what you can and can't do is often the choice of other people. Do I want to work in the office of this small dumpster company? No, I do not. I'd much rather have done creative things with my career, but those things often don't pay the bills. Why does it cost so fucking much just to live!? I'm not saying I shouldn't have goals, but I get tired of these successful people saying "You can do anything" when all they've done is stand on the backs of others to get where they are.
And another thing - driving in Utah sucks. Everyone is always going at least ten miles an hour over the speed limit, and they'd rather die than let you in front of them. They have no courtesy for anyone else, especially if you're trying to merge onto the freeway. And they think red lights and stop signs are for other drivers. No joke - I was almost hit by a jacked-up Ford truck a few weeks ago when he didn't fully change lanes before running a red light. And this light had been red for several seconds. If I hadn't hit the gas and swerved into the median, he would have plowed right into me. Twat. My best friend Taura once said, "If the only traffic law was to be courteous to all other drivers, we wouldn't need any other laws." How true. Courtesy costs nothing. Why can't drivers here have it?
I would take public transportation if I could, but the Utah Department of Transportation is a joke. We just barely got a train last year, and it only runs from Ogden to Salt Lake City. There is a light rail system, but only in downtown Salt Lake City, and I live 40 miles north of there. There are buses, sure, but they keep reducing the schedules and eliminating routes, so you're lucky if a bus comes anywhere near where you need to go. Oh, and most of the buses don't run on Sunday. The train doesn't run on Sunday, either. Damn Mormons.
Well, I've vented my spleen a bit now. (Had a bad commute to work, can you tell?) I will invite you all to tune into The InsideOutcast as soon as it's going. Feedback will always be welcome. Oh, that's another thing, gotta set up a new e-mail address. Better write that down or I'll never remember because I've lost my other list and...oh, never mind. Ramble on, my darlings!
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The 'follow your dream' thing can get really annoying, especially from people who don't understand the reality of your day to day life. However, I would say, as someone who DID follow his dream to work in radio and to become a creator of my own ideas...it CAN be done. The reality is that you have to work damn hard during the out-of-work parts of your life. For years you have to slog away at creating stuff, rarely if ever getting appreciated for it, never knowing there will be a 'wall to hang you art upon'. And of course, not everyone who slogs away at it succeeds...the creative world is a bitch and there are many failures scattered along the road to prove it.
ReplyDeleteBUT, if you have creativity within you, and if you would like to see if you could convert it in to work, then it is always worth the time and effort. Because, and this is the only truism I know, creating something new feeds the soul. It doesn't matter if only YOU like it, it doesn't matter if you don't convert it into cold hard cash...what matters is that you let your creativity loose.
But it takes an investment of time and effort, some of your own money for supplies and equipment, and the willingness to push forward no matter what.
The real bummer of being a creative is that only one in a thousand or so working creatives make decent money. If that! In the UK at the moment there is a ridiculous debate going on about the salaries of people at the BBC. There is a misunderstanding that BBC employees get paid lots of money. Well, what happens at the BBC, as in the commercial entertainment sector, is that a small number of highly visible, and usually very popular 'stars' get paid ridiculous amounts. Then the most senior management, those that control the millions and billions of pounds, and the livlihoods of the thousands working for them, get paid rather exagerated salaries. BUT, work your way down to the rank and file, the producers and researchers and day to day talent, and you'll find long hours, dedication, and low wages! Nothing changes in entertainment, the techs and off-camera/mic talent are expected to make everything run and look/sound fabulous, but get paid and treated like crap.
So why do it? Because we have to. It's our job and it pays our bills. Oh, hang on, that sounds like other people and THEIR jobs! That's right...creativity is also a job.
I love being a creative, and I would say that over 50% of what I make on a week to week basis is UNPAID and done by me, for me, with the hope that every now and again something will hit big (check out my FICTS over on the blog for an example of this.) But I have to focis on this stuff outside of my paid work, producing radio and audio series for my clients.
Brandi, my advice is to aim for the dream, give it a go, try as hard as you can manage. becuase in trying you may help make that dayjob a little more bearable, because then the dayjob is paying for the creativity! And I am sure that one day, something will bear fruit from you creative planting (urgh, what a terrible analogy!)
And sod those tell you to drop reality for dreams. Dreams only become reality when you treat them as part of your reality, and fit them in with whatever else is going on. So don't feel pressured, and don't feel low...just do what you want, when you want (Aleister Crowley had a good point!) The podcast is a first step towards whatever creative dream you may want to make a reality someday...and if nothing more comes of it, then at least you've created a new, kick-ass podcast, and for that I say HUZZAH and heartiest congrats, from one creative to another!
N ♥♥